The Beginning of Frustration (Language)

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I’ve been in Japan for three months now and I’m starting to feel some frustration welling up. And it has to do with the language. I’m very upset I don’t know Japanese.

While I can mostly get by with no Japanese (I mean, what’s so hard about grabbing stuff and then presenting money, right?), I’ve started to notice that I’m starting to struggle in other ways. I hate the fact that when I go to the store to buy anything, I can’t tell what the cashier is saying or asking me. It’s probably something like “Do you want a bag?” or “Do you have a points card?” or even, “Do you want this all on one transaction?”. But I can’t tell. And I hate that I struggle to buy train tickets and that I can’t communicate with the people around me. New Year’s just passed and I can’t say “How was your vacation?” or “What did you do?”. And even if I could learn these two questions, I wouldn’t be able to understand their answers!

And then there are days when I silently curse the fact that knowing I’m a foreigner, people just don’t care to try and help me. Then I stop and think, “Well, it’s not their job to.” And I hate this feeling (the upsetness at others) the most. I don’t want to be that person.

This is why I finally decided to really take on Japanese study “seriously”. It’s not that I wasn’t taking it seriously before. I’ve picked up a few words and phrases, and other phrases (that I semi-vaguely knew) have started to stick more. Yet it’s not enough. But I also don’t want to commit to studying Japanese from a book because that’s boring

So what am I doing?

Well, I’m going to study what I find interesting, which means KANJI! I have a friend who is super into kanji and we sometimes talk about how awesome kanji are and their enthusiasm has convinced me. Plus, since I want to try my hand at translation at one point, I figured it would be best to learn the kanji as I learn the language.

How will I do this?

I decided that my goal is to study Japanese every day. Have I succeeded? Not exactly. It’s just after the holidays and I have a giant backlog of stuff I put off that I’m only just catching up on, BUT I’m actually not that off from every day. I’ve been doing some sort of study every other day because I wasn’t working, but now that I’m back on the clock, I think it will help me establish a better routine.

And I know I said I didn’t want to study out of some book but that’s one of the ways I’m studying (there’s no helping it really), but I’m also combining it with things like TV shows, music, and books. My focus isn’t comprehension on my first read/watch but exposure. Like, not tuning out. I want to really concentrate on what is being said and how things are written.

I also want to learn Japanese, ideally as quickly as possible but realistically maybe not that fast, so I can help students better. Learning the language would not just help me help them learn new vocabulary, but also give me entrance into their circle. I mean, they don’t talk to me much because they know we can’t really communicate. And it would help me feel less awkward.

Alongside my Japanese study, I decided to also focus on my Spanish writing, so I will be dropping more Spanish and Bilingual posts from here on out. My IG is also a mix of Spanish and English, and eventually, I’d like to introduce some Japanese. Why Spanish? Well, I speak Spanish natively but I’ve always struggled to read and write it fluently. I can do both but I’d like to improve. Reading might be harder. I can’t even find English books in Japan, doubt I’ll find Spanish ones, but writing it I can work on.

Plus, by studying something that isn’t completely unfamiliar to me, I think I will feel less struck if I ever “fail” in my studying. Like, no I didn’t have a chance to study much Japanese but look, I did manage to write 100 words in Spanish!

And maybe, if I’m comfortable, I can add a third language to my studies towards the end of the year.


7 thoughts on “The Beginning of Frustration (Language)”

  1. Honestly I think you’re awesome, Crim~ Learning languages are so hard, and it’s hard to stick to it. I remember when I started learning Mandarin and Japanese in college. I remember nothing from Chinese, other than a couple words/phrases and proper pronunciation lol. Japanese I was a little better at cuz consuming so much Japanese media my whole life. But honestly I remember nothing except for enough to get by as a weeb tourist in Japan lol. I want d to try learning Japanese again…and hopefully actually learn it this time haha. I was also planning on trying to improve my Thai because while I do speak it pretty fluently for an American born Thai, I feel like my Thai has just gotten worse. I also want to learn to properly read and write (prioritizing reading though) since I basically read at a 6 year old level and basically guess my way through it haha. But I definitely relate. Like again, even though I speak Thai, I also get that feeling of feeling like I’m a foreigner, out of place, and not able to properly communicate when I am back in Thailand. But it seems like you’ve got a good plan and system in place so I’m sure you’ll do great!~ You got me feeling motivated now haha~

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thanks >///< it's so hard!! i wrote this a while ago and i'm still having trouble, but i havent given up yet!!

      that is exactly how i feel! and i know i shouldn't bc the more time passes, the more it's normal for people to just not know a second language (as american born) but like, it still bothers me O(-( lol and it's just hard unless you're in a community that speaks it ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

      haha yeah! if you do i'd love to knw how it's going. tbh i really wanted to do korean too but that will have to wait T-T sorry webcomics xD

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Whoops, my bad haha. I just saw “New Post” notification in my email haha~ But I’m glad you haven’t given up!~

        Yeah, like I know I’ m really lucky since I’m really fluent compared to alot of other Thai Americans I know. And especially because like you said, it’s hard unless you’re in a community that speaks it. I didn’t really have other Thai friends, so my exposure was just my immediate family and some relatives. But I always lack confidence and kinda freeze up and go dumb when I’m in Thailand haha~ And even though I’m pretty good, it still bothers me when I feel like I’m not as fluent as I want to be.

        I wanted to do Korean too! haha. All I can do is recognize random words/phrases and read Hangul. But I don’t actually understand it haha. When you want to learn so you can read webcomics, but you also too busy reading webcomics to learn hahaha~

        Liked by 1 person

      2. omgggg im sorry i left you hanging!!! haha yes im like i should be studying *reads the subtitles instead/the english versions bc i have no patience* LOL

        and no worries, i’ve been organizing the blog so it’s technically new but not entirely, it was just “hidden”. and omggg confidence is a big thing!! i actually just started classes and im like i know this I KNOW THIS and then when they call on me i’m like uhhhhh i don’t know this xD

        Liked by 1 person

      3. No worries at all~ I also haven’t even really been around as much (trips, constantly being sick, busy with work, busy with stuff for Manta) haha~ In totally feel you though! Going back to the motherland (Thailand) this fall. So I really want to brush up on my Thai more since I feel rusty and have a tendency to panic and default to English. But I always still end up reading English subtitles for Thai movies and things LOLOL

        Yeah! Confidence definitely is such a huge thing haha. I remember I’d be like, “I know this in Japanese!” (With what little I know from 1 university semester and like 25+ years of consuming Japanese media anyway). But I would just panic and blank out whenever I actually had to converse with anyone lol

        Liked by 1 person

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